Life Threatening Fear.... That I Survived :)

I am so happy I am sitting here Tuesday night still alive.... :) I had been anticipating a sudden death by my life threatening fear of public speaking which was to occur on Monday evening. All weekend (actually for 2 weeks) I had been dreading the inevitable but all the while praying for a miracle.... and asked a few people to pray for me too. And I am so pleased to say that God did a miracle and answered prayers... I was able to share a devotion to a group of 25 ladies  (of whom I was the youngest) without passing out, throwing up, crying to the point of hysterics, voice quivering, body trembling and/or complete muteness! I survived and  can say now... it wasn't so bad... I might even if the Lord would have me... actually do it again. Thank you sooooo much for praying for me!!! God heard you and kept me alive :)

For 2 weeks I have been praying... studying.... praying for my body to become suddenly  sick  on Monday (that prayer wasn't answered:), dreading, asking for prayers, sharing my fears, asking God why me???, learning a lot from what I was studying, and wishing I could study and then have someone read it for me ( I actually asked). Then Monday morning came and I woke up asking Mat if I could just sleep until Tuesday but he did not go for that. Actually he loved that God was answering our prayer from about a year ago... that God would cause us to grow more and more in knowledge and service to Him.  I was feeling really emotional all day but was able to keep it in until my dear sister shared a verse she found to enoucourage me... I think it was in Joshua... Joshua 1:9 " Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Well she wasn't even able to read the whole verse to me because I burst out in tears.... Poor thing she wasn't expecting that! But wow I needed to get it out and then God gave me an amazing peace and I reread the verse. Yes I had nothing to fear ... God was with me... Well I had nothing to fear until I walked in the door to my friends baby shower... I began getting really nervous and was looking for the 1st moment that I could make a quick escape :) Nope wasn't going to happen.. The time came and the room got quite and all eyes on me..... I said a quick prayer and then it happened... God filled me with words... my heart was still pounding but not in my throat making my voice quiver like it had every time before... and once the 10 minutes were over I took a breath and realized " I survived!!! I can now say for certain... God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. I pray now that I can get my eyes of myself and more and more on Him and how I can serve Him.. even if that means speaking to a group of ladies... because it isn't me that is able to do it.. but Him working through me... And that He did and even if for no other reason than to show me His amazing presence in my time of need. I pray that the word He gave me encouraged someone but even if it didn't He used it to show me  that I CAN do all things through Christ who gives me strength... I have had a life gripping fear of public speaking all of my life but I can say that God is slowly taking this fear from me as I look more and more at Him! So if God can do that for me.... He can do that for YOU too!!!


 I do have to say that it felt soo good to fall into bed last night.. Just like it did a few years ago after I ran the 1/2 marathon... I was soo thankful for the peace I finally had and boy did I sleep good.


Today we had a wonderful day staying home all DAY!!! It was science experiment day with daddy.... We are studying the weather.

 Daddy was the construction guy... mom was the instruction reader and the boys were the recorders :)

 We learned how to tell the direction of the wind

 We made our own thermometer and learned how they work and we also learned about air pressure and now for the next 2 weeks the boys will be our meteorologist predicting and recording and informing us of the weather in our neighborhood !!! And since they predicted rain for the next few days we decided to get out and enjoy the high pressure, SE light wind, beautiful sunny day on a walk to our park.

 We played catch

 Practiced rolling in the grass.. well at least Zack did :)

 Poor guy was trying to use a left handed mitt when he is left handed... We need to get him a glove :)

 Kaitlyn enjoyed the flowers and blowing the wishies

 Then it was time for some body conditioning... sprinting between trees. Following this Jayden informs us that he doesn't want to be a cop or a fireman any longer because it would involve more conditioning like this... of which he was not a big fan ... So now he said he want to be a mailman :) We informed him that they too need to condition because they have to walk and carry heavy packages.. ok then he said.. I will work in an office :)  My wonderful stubborn little man!! But at the end of the day... He said I guess I will still be a cop then. 

Now back up a few days.....

Sunday I was thankful for the wonderful distraction of having friends over... here a a few snap shot of the kiddos....

 Not all are looking but at least all were sitting for a brief second

 Sharing a little dinner together

 Oh now she is hugging his cousin:) We better watch out with this girl :)

Us mommies took over the Wii and had fun sword fighting and bowling..... 

It has been a very eventful few days. I must go now and do something else I dread... IRONING... I would take ironing though any day over.. PUBLIC SPEAKING!!! :) Yes God still has some work to do !